Papermaking is metaphorically and symbolically powerful. It is a process involving destruction, deconstruction, and transformation, re-incorporating the old into something new. I found the experience satisfying, stress relieving, and cathartic on a kinesthetic/sensory level as I ripped the paper, blended it, and pressed the cold mulch into sheets between towels. The product was beautiful as well: chunky, thick paper that felt sentimental, like pages of an old diary or manuscript. Scraps of what the paper had once been, bits of an old journal I took sermon notes in church, surfaced here and there. I am in the midst of my own process of deconstruction: deconstructing my faith. I was raised Christian, my parents were missionaries; my whole community growing up was religious. Christianity is woven intimately into my identity, my past, my relationships. However, over the past few years my beliefs have radically changed and I no longer identify as religious. This process has been incredibly painful as it feels like the rug is pulled out from under me and I have to navigate what it means to still be a part of my family and my community, and still maintain a connection to past self and life I feel so alienated from. It also means I am faced with the new task of exploring questions like what do I leave behind? What do I still take with me? What do I value? The papermaking process felt incredibly relevant to this process. There was destruction and loss of the old. There is a new object that both is a fresh slate and carries a history with it.
Because of the transformative nature of the process, I believe papermaking would be a helpful intervention for adults with trauma and stressor related disorders. Trauma literally means to shatter. Traumatized people know what it is to feel shredded, fragmented, destroyed. The task of healing trauma is to find a way to incorporate and process trauma memory and reestablish a sense of self and a new sense of meaning. There is no way to erase trauma; it transforms us and we carry it with us. But there is the possibility of rearranging our relationship with the trauma. Additionally, on a kinesthetic level, repetitive motion, such as the ripping could be soothing and cathartic. Part of trauma work is also grief work. Depending on the nature of the trauma is could be the actual loss of a loved one, or loss of a sense of safety, identity. Papermaking lends itself well to that process as well as it maintains connection to the past, but it involves creating something new. In Craft in Art Therapy, the author states “Transformation can take place through reworking, revising, reforming, adjusting, or altering-all processes that hold symbolic value and thus have unique therapeutic potential…the alchemical process of transformation, along with constructing, destructing, and reconstructing can provide a parallel inner alchemical process of transformation” (Leone, 2020, p. 17). This quote actually refers to ceramics, but I found papermaking mirrored this process.
Reference:
Leone, L. (Ed.). (2020). Craft in Art Therapy: Diverse Approaches to the Transformative Power of Craft Materials and Methods. Routledge.
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